Omg, you blogged about the north face camping, already signed up like two weeks ago before kids even got here.
6am text from Runfostermama

Up ruminating again about Snap’s brother and Meghan

I’m back to my "Why do i care post" about where Snap’s brother ends up.  Having his foster agency actively fight against the community-based kinship relationships I have built a la parent-to-parent model [to keep a family together and prevent the kids from being bounced to a bunch of different foster homes] means that so much of my past 5 years as a foster parent have been wasted.

All of the extra time and energy I’ve spent visiting Snap’s mom at Rikers Island, this psych hospital, that psych hospital, this mommy-and-me rehab, family days at this treatment program, middle of the night calls and taking Snap home on weekends even a year after he was returned to his mom- it’s all a waste if her babies continue to be placed with random strangers unnecessarily. 

It’s a slap in the face and it really, really hurts.  Not to mention it makes me look stupid.

If in foster parent training they would have told us to be polite but distant with birth parents while focusing on caring for the kids, I would have been all “that’s cool, no doubt this was decided by a lot of smart people and smart research”.  But no, that’s not what we were taught.

What percentage of child welfare workers in NYC have even ever seen the foster parent curriculum?

Runfostermama had to do another ER visit tonight. Sadly, as a former ACS worker she knows she has to get every minor rash responded to and documented— especially in these first few weeks of trust building with the foster agency.

But that’s really just the preface to explain why the kids were out past their bedtime so that I can share this text:

"Yep will text as soon as I carry three sleeping kids from car. Carrying all simultaneous. Got this down."

She’s so freaking amazing.

I love it when foster agencies tweet and support me!  Especially in times like this with Snap’s brother’s ridiculousness.

I love it when foster agencies tweet and support me! Especially in times like this with Snap’s brother’s ridiculousness.

Re: Snap’s brother’s foster agency

They haven’t returned any of the law guardian’s [attorney for the child] calls either so I’m trying to encourage Meghan to not take it personally.

Sandy must have taken this today on my phone but I don’t even remember her having it.  I better watch out, her photos aren’t only of her thumb anymore.  That’s Clemmie’s foot in my hand.

Sandy must have taken this today on my phone but I don’t even remember her having it. I better watch out, her photos aren’t only of her thumb anymore. That’s Clemmie’s foot in my hand.

All 3 of Clementine’s siblings have been out of diapers since Friday without accident. There’s been a lot of congratulatory calls from grandpa and now I’m buying up all of the toddler and little girl underwear in downtown Brooklyn.

Do you know how tempting it is to prank call Runfostermama today?

Everywhere I go on errands I can ask people to call her and say “What is your address? Why didn’t you give the foster agency your address?!” I could get people at work to do it, the grocery store, the bus…. But I won’t. It’s fun enough just imagining her response.

When a young, new case worker gets poisoned-

- and starts saying bold things to foster parents after their first weeks of court like “the judge can’t make us clear you”. it’s one of the most telling reveals of just how deep and dark an institution’s dysfunction is.

I want to tell them “Run, get out fast while you can! This isn’t you, I’m sure you’re a good person. Any chance you have of growing an actual career is about to go down the tubes. Never mind the erosion of your soul. Run.”

If Sandy had her way, she would sleep on my face every night like a cat. That’s all she wants is to curl around my face until I don’t have a nostril left to breathe out of.

When that’s not an option, she jumps into Clemmie’s crib and tries to snuggle the fuck out of her. Clementine FREAKS OUT. You’ve never seen me jump off the living room couch so fast as when Clemmie screams in protest. Poor Sandy.

I’ve resorted to lying down on the floor next to Sandy’s crib and weaving my hands through the bars to give her some of what she wants. Recently Clementine has seen this and now she wants some skin too so I end up in all of these stretched-out, uncomfortable positions trying to comfort them both in their cribs and provide equal fractions of my arms. I’m pretty sure Super Nanny would have stern words with me.

How many times is the foster agency going to call bomb me for my address? 4 staff have been to my home already.
Runfostermama (and she doesn’t even know how many times I’ve also been ‘call bombed’ for her address)

It's been 2 weeks now since the judge yelled at the foster agency

  • Text from Meghan: Give you three guesses about who *didn't* call me today.
  • Me: How about no one, nobody and not a soul.
  • Meghan: Oh, ___foster agency____ , how much of a disaster can you be?
  • Me: They have no incentive to deal with you. You're just a hassle to them. They don't actually care about Snap's brother or his mom. They're probably too busy putting out other fires.