Fosterhood in NYC

21st November 2009

I have an announcement ladies and gentlemen

I, Rebecca, have changed a 9 month-olds’ diaper while sitting, pants down, on a restaurant toilet.  I’d only read about such feats on the internet…

20th November 2009

4 notes

Thank you NYC for helping us home during rush hour

Thank you gang of mixed-race teenagers in Harlem who helped me 1. open my bag 2.  get my jacket off 3. hold my baby and 4. find my metrocard so that we could get on the subway.

Thank you elderly, black church lady for not judging me out-loud when I let Snap suck on the H1N1 infested subway railing.

Thank you million-dollar-bling Latina gal who cringed only briefly when Snap left three long strings of drool on her blouse and the gold chain necklace I failed to prevent him from stuffing in his mouth.

Thank you white, homeless, one-legged man on crutches who crawled under the seat to get Snap’s pacifier.

Thank you Mr. T (seriously, it might have been Mr. T) for opening up our stroller even after I rolled my eyes from your comment that it takes two hands (I’d LOVE a third arm, trust me).

Thank you preppy, middle-aged black woman for biting your tongue when I got my finger caught in one of Snap’s nappy dreads.

Thank you nerdy, person-amidst-transgendering for staying silent after catching wind of how sour-smelling Snap’s moldy, rehab pacifier holder was.

Thank you tall, skinny, Southeast Asian gas attendant at the Mobile station on Broadway who banged on cabbies’ trunks for us until one finally agreed that he was no longer “off duty”.

Thank you tiny, angry Asian woman who taught me (in Mandarin) how not to get my tote, diaper bags, umbrella and baby stuck in the subway turnstile.

Thank you vampire-pale, 20-something, skater punk in the deli who tried really, really, really hard to not touch my boob when I suggested he could just pile the bananas in the space between my chest and Snap.

Tagged: nycsnapsnap in rehabawesomeNYC + Kids = complicated

20th November 2009

What Scares/prevents you from becoming a foster parent?

I posted this question on the Dooce community boards and I thought to extend the conversation here:

1. “What scares/prevents you from being a foster parent?”

19th November 2009

1 note

I can't bear the idea that Eaglet is in a different foster home

It’s driving me insane.  If Eaglet’s going to be back in foster care, I WANT HER.

Tagged: eaglet

18th November 2009

Eaglet for Thanksgiving?

Email:

“Hi Home-finding Case Worker,

I would LOVE LOVE LOVE to babysit for the current foster parent(s) of Eaglet and her brother and sister for FREE.  I could take just Eaglet or all three one day this weekend, or the next, or the next.  Would you please pass my contact information (cell 646.xxx-xxxx) and tell the newest foster parent(s) how great I am?  :)  I can pick-up and drop-off.  I don’t care how far away they live, I don’t need diapers or bottles, I have everything.

And what about Thanksgiving!?  If I could take all of the kids off of the foster parent(s) hands for Thanksgiving that would be a dream come true.  I’m pretty sure T [older sister] remembers me….

Thanks!  Rebecca”

Tagged: eaglet

18th November 2009

EAGLET UPDATE!!!!!!

I just called my agency with a new foster parent referral and I got an Eaglet update.  She and her two siblings were just placed in ANOTHER (fourth) foster home on Monday.  Oh, my heart!  Before I got a chance to scream “WHY DIDN’T YOU CALL ME?!?” the home-finding case worker said “we were able to place her with her brother and sister”.  To which I replied, “I’m getting a bigger apartment”.

Eaglet’s most recent placement disruption (as we say in the field) was because her great-aunt failed to comply with the finger-printing requirement.  The room is spinning as I type this.  If Great-Aunt didn’t follow through with finger-printing, the likelihood that she is kept Eaglet’s medical appointments can objectively be questioned…

I may be emailing an ACS OSI worker today…

UPDATE: my email:

“I hope you’re doing well.  I have an ACS case here at work with one of our individuals who is a mother and I tell everyone how amazing you were.  10 points for ACS!

I’m writing because I just got word that Eaglet and her siblings were moved because the aunt never complied with the finger-printing requirements.  Once she complies my understanding is that the children will be returned.  My concern is that if the aunt isn’t capable of following-through on finger printing, what about all of Eaglet’s medical follow-up?

I doubt you’re still on this case, but hopefully someone could check in on the situation. Please don’t share this email with the agency as I fear it might jeopardize future placements.

Many thanks and all the best to you!  Rebecca”

Tagged: eagletACS

18th November 2009

So I guess I can give him Gerber Stage 2 now

I genuinely take it in stride that Snap’s Mom is sustaining him on a diet of “Spanish food” and “pizza cut up into small bites”.  For the record, he doesn’t have any teeth and although he’s 9 months (born 2 months early), he doesn’t crawl yet and he’s only a ‘supported sitter’.   I think this makes him “Stage 1” according to Gerber.

Maybe my whatever-attitude is from living in West Africa where mom’s begin feeding their 2 week old infants hot peppers, or maybe from working in psych hospitals where kids swallowed everything from cotton balls to staplers, or most likely, it’s because my own diet consists of mainly of soda, Kit Kat bars and fried rice.

I said to a friend last night, “so I guess I can upgrade him to Gerber Stage 2 now”.

17th November 2009

1 note

My Dream Apartment?

Check it out quick before the ad goes down.    My application’s been accepted but I’m suddenly getting very, very cold feet….

16th November 2009

1 note

Considering the big move to Brooklyn

A lot of my time recently has been consumed by combing through Brooklyn neighborhoods and apartments.  I’ve lived in Manhattan for almost 10 years now and more and more my friends are all moving to Brooklyn.  Actually, they do ALL live in Brooklyn now and this whole foster care experience has caused me to want to be much closer to my friends. 

I cringe at writing the words “I understand now why people move back home to have babies”.  It’s really hard to do alone.  I’ve proven that I *can* do it alone but now I’m wondering how much I want to.  Here’s my pros and cons list:

Moving to Brooklyn Pro:

1. closer to friends 2. bigger apartment 3. closer to work 4. more family-oriented lifestyle 5. slight chance of scoring outdoor space

Moving to Brooklyn Cons:

1. more family-oriented lifestyle  2. the logistics of moving is a bitch  3. Manhattan needs foster parents much more than Brooklyn 4. a bigger apartment means the more children they will try to stuff me with  5. I will lose my amazing housekeeper