February 2012
16 posts
2 tags
Safety Lessons for Jacket?
I’m trying to think of all of the important things to teach Jacket right now. It’s tempting to push reading and writing but I know that will come with time. The other day I taught her how to say her mom’s full name and address. I also made-up a song on the spot to go with my phone number which she liked so much I can just imagine her singing it everywhere- the bus, social...
2 tags
"When?"
Jacket’s hit another milestone in expressive language as evident by her constant questions about ‘when’. Answering ‘when’ is funny though, because concepts like “Thursday”, “in 2 hours” or even “after it gets warm outside” are incredibly abstract.
It’s really helpful that I have a job working with adults who have...
2 tags
I spy...
I just spied on Jacket in daycare (they have a big window viewable by the public) and she’s in heaven. The other children are just babies compared to her, one or two years old. She’s almost four and has taken charge- leading the toddlers around and telling them what to do. I so wish she was in preschool.
I really can’t believe I got her into daycare in less than 24 hours. ...
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Feeling like a fucking rock star
Jacket’s mom called me at 3:15pm and asked me to come and pick Jacket up for the night. In the past hour I somewhat frantically worked out
1. borrowing my friend’s car (thanks ben and stef!)
2. Going to ‘the nurse’ from work’s apartment to go swimming with Jacket and her baby tonight
3. Secured a placement at the daycare nextdoor to my job for Jacket tomorrow
4....
3 tags
What's a reasonable number of times a day for...
It’s started already. Jacket’s mom has named a number of times that she wants to call us while we’re in Florida. Predicting this, I’ve told her that my cell phone doesn’t work down there (I usually turn it off when I’m on vacation anyway). She’s not buying it.
I wouldn’t mind being open to unlimited phone calls if Jacket’s mom wasn’t...
3 tags
typical ipad conversation these days
Jacket: Look at my booty.
Me: I see it.
(shakes butt in the camera)
Yep, that's you're butt.
Read me a book.
Ok, I've got 'Harry the Dirty Dog' right here when you're ready.
(still shaking butt in the camera) Read it to my butt.
I'm not going to read a book to your butt. (put my fingers up to the camera and make pinching gesture)
SQUEAL.
(more pinching gestures)
(reciprocal pinching gestures)
Are you ready for the book?
I want to play a game.
Ok, what game do you want to play?
I spy! I spy something........................BLUE!
Ok, in your house or in my house?
MY house!
Well, all I can see is the ceiling so you're going to have to move the ipad.
(turns ipad upside-down and camera goes black)
Now I can't see anything.
(turns ipad back to the ceiling)
Jacket can you put the ipad on the stand like I've shown you all?
(hands ipad to grandma) Hellllllo Rebecca!
Hi Grandma! How are you?
Great honey. You look nice this evening.
Aww, thanks so much. All I can see is your boobs again!
(laughs and moves ipad so that it points back to ceiling, hands it back to Jacket)
Hey, Jacket if you open the stand...
I SPY SOMETHING BLUE!
(just start randomly guessing) Is it, the shirt?
YEAH-YA! (she's said 'yeah' like this for almost 2 years)
Wow, cool!
How did you know?
I have no idea.
Omg, ran into Jacket and her mom (and grandma) at the store almost two hours early. Gave them money to pick up donuts and they’re on their way over!
2 tags
Field trip today?
I’m hoping to convince Jacket’s mom to walk over with me to the local YMCA for a tour. She’s already said that Jacket could take swim classes (that I paid for last Spring) but I can’t imagine her keeping a schedule and making the classes a priority over all of her prison visits- even if I offer to take her.
The YMCA building is new and really nice. I’m hoping...
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more boundary setting with Jacket's mom
Lots of back-and-forth going on with Jacket’s mom. As tempting as it is to post her text messages, it seems too demeaning. In short, her demands have been getting out of control. For example,
1. We’re coming to lunch on Sunday (ok)
2. Cook lots of vegatables (ok, I usually don’t take food orders from guests, but…)
3. Make a salad (is that something you could...
1 tag
missed a surprise visit
My roommate said that Snap’s foster mom came by with Snap when I was out. I checked my phone and there was a voicemail saying that she was outside my apartment and that Snap missed me (not quite sure about that one). Super weird.
I’m going to have to wait until a decent hour to call her tomorrow.
January 2012
56 posts
1 tag
Who took this picture and how is it ok? →
Clearly this isn’t a “help us identify these kids” photo with their hoods on and clutching diapers. It’s such a shameful photo that’s going to follow these kids for life. Aren’t there some journalism ethics against this kind of thing?
2 tags
things to do before possibly adopting a baby
1. DENTIST
2. Buy another crib (gave mine to Jacket’s mom- long story)
3. Do my hand-washing from this summer
4. Finish Jacket’s Lifebook
If you go to a date’s apartment and your first thought is “I wonder how he’d feel about keeping a pack-n-play in that corner”, you know you’re in the fosterhood.
1 tag
Interesting twist
My wonderful, lovely roommate is going to have to move to a cheaper place given her job situation. I’ll be sad to see her go, but I think I already have a replacement. The nurse at work is my age and just became a ‘single mother by choice’. Her daughter was born last month and she lives with two other roommates. The roommates are cool about it but it might be a different...
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“What do you mean you haven’t packed yet? My baby needs to be pack. ...”
– Jacket’s Mom- regarding our trip February 15-18
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Officers may ask "in a respectful manner"
I just found out from the NYSCCC newsletter that New York Family Courts are open to the public. I’m not sure knowing this would have made me feel any better on this day, but it’s good to know.
For Realz
My roommate: Have you ever considered adopting a retarded (forgive her) baby?
Me: Have I ever considered it!? Uhm, like EVER. DAY.
I am subscribed to not one, not two, but SIX email lists of kids with special needs who are up for adoption. Look- (opened up my computer)
Oh my god, you aren't kidding.
No. So how 'bout that for a match.com profile. "Let's adopt babies with mental retardation together" and then I'll have to write, "No, it's not some hipster code for becoming city chicken farmers, I mean a real baby."
WatchIf I haven’t said it yet, I think Jacket is doing great. Despite living with people who are currently addicted to drugs, she seems really well adjusted and happy.
Here she is VERY happy because I gave the okay for her to use all of the dish soap and food coloring in her sloshy science experiment in the sink.
WatchThere will never be a storm strong enough to keep us away from the donut shop.
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Me: Go get a tissue.
Jacket: Grandma gets my boogers out with her hand.
Me. Grandma is a special lady. Go get a tissue.
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Baby Girl Names (!)
Here are some names that I really like but will not be using:
1. Dorothy 2. Marigold “Goldie” 3. Loretta 4. Matilda 5. Louise 6. Julia 7. Reese 8. June 9. Alice 10. Maple
I’ve already chosen a traditional European/American (aka ‘White’) name and now I’m working on a traditional African or African-American name. I’d like one that is 2...
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The baby was already placed
To be honest, I breathed a big sigh of relief. It’s definitely what I want, but it’s soooo scary. Figuring out daycare, finances, my mental health under the conditions of sleep deprivation and infant screams. And of course, the pressure to continue dating.
Foster care was such a good experience to show me that I CAN do it. The beginning will be the most difficult, especially not...
I didn't expect it to happen this fast
I missed a call from the foster agency last night (and just saw it this morning)-
“7 day old girl, like we talked about- older sibling has already been adopted”.
I just left a message saying yes- but for all I know the child has already been placed. We’ll see….
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I need a babysitter for Jacket (UPDATE- nevermind,...
Yeah, Jacket’s mom did a 180 and has asked me to take her today- Saturday. I’d like to pay someone to take her to the aquarium in Coney Island (near my job) tomorrow and then I’m open to ideas for Friday while I’m at work (9am-4pm). Email me if you or someone you know are interested. Obviously I’ll check references and whatnot. Thanks!
Got a weird voicemail message from Jacket’s mom chewing me out but I can’t make out why. She keeps repeating “I dress my baby classy”.
Ugh, this could be anything.
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Ah! Get her out of my dreams!
I had a dream last night that I met Marilyn Monroe (thank you Golden Globes). Turns out, people were totally wrong about her birthday, she was actually born in 1976. We ate at McDonald’s. We had fun. We talked about that cruise ship in Italy that went down. She let me take photos to prove to everyone that I was hangin’ with her.
Sometime later in my dream I told Jacket’s...
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By the way, 3 HUGE cheers for Jacket’s mom for eating one of these with fake joy. She’s finally starting to get it.
Jacket and her mom are on their way over for lunch and the iPad.
There's a reason I don't want to adopt a boy
I LOVE the name “Crockett” and my friends will disown me if I give that name to a child.
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Tickets to Florida bought
Jacket’s mom just lectured me for almost 30 minutes on the need to keep Jacket safe in Florida. She gave story after story about how “allll the child rapers are in Florida”.
She might be right, I don’t know the stats, but I’m pretty sure she lives in one of the top 10 most dangerous neighborhoods in the U.S. so it’s a bit ironic. Everyone back home in...
1 tag
my big-time flip-flop
Yesterday I was going to post about a conversation I had with Brian (still just friends- no need to ask), in which he wondered out-loud about when I’m going to move on. Something about if a baby, or my own child, is what I want then I should go for it. My post was going to be about how I realize that it’s not about “a” baby and Jacket doesn’t have to...