January 2012
51 posts
2 tags
“What do you mean you haven’t packed yet? My baby needs to be pack. ...”
– Jacket’s Mom- regarding our trip February 15-18
2 tags
Officers may ask "in a respectful manner"
I just found out from the NYSCCC newsletter that New York Family Courts are open to the public. I’m not sure knowing this would have made me feel any better on this day, but it’s good to know.
For Realz
My roommate: Have you ever considered adopting a retarded (forgive her) baby?
Me: Have I ever considered it!? Uhm, like EVER. DAY.
I am subscribed to not one, not two, but SIX email lists of kids with special needs who are up for adoption. Look- (opened up my computer)
Oh my god, you aren't kidding.
No. So how 'bout that for a match.com profile. "Let's adopt babies with mental retardation together" and then I'll have to write, "No, it's not some hipster code for becoming city chicken farmers, I mean a real baby."
WatchIf I haven’t said it yet, I think Jacket is doing great. Despite living with people who are currently addicted to drugs, she seems really well adjusted and happy.
Here she is VERY happy because I gave the okay for her to use all of the dish soap and food coloring in her sloshy science experiment in the sink.
WatchThere will never be a storm strong enough to keep us away from the donut shop.
2 tags
Me: Go get a tissue.
Jacket: Grandma gets my boogers out with her hand.
Me. Grandma is a special lady. Go get a tissue.
2 tags
Baby Girl Names (!)
Here are some names that I really like but will not be using:
1. Dorothy 2. Marigold “Goldie” 3. Loretta 4. Matilda 5. Louise 6. Julia 7. Reese 8. June 9. Alice 10. Maple
I’ve already chosen a traditional European/American (aka ‘White’) name and now I’m working on a traditional African or African-American name. I’d like one that is 2...
1 tag
The baby was already placed
To be honest, I breathed a big sigh of relief. It’s definitely what I want, but it’s soooo scary. Figuring out daycare, finances, my mental health under the conditions of sleep deprivation and infant screams. And of course, the pressure to continue dating.
Foster care was such a good experience to show me that I CAN do it. The beginning will be the most difficult, especially not...
I didn't expect it to happen this fast
I missed a call from the foster agency last night (and just saw it this morning)-
“7 day old girl, like we talked about- older sibling has already been adopted”.
I just left a message saying yes- but for all I know the child has already been placed. We’ll see….
2 tags
I need a babysitter for Jacket (UPDATE- nevermind,...
Yeah, Jacket’s mom did a 180 and has asked me to take her today- Saturday. I’d like to pay someone to take her to the aquarium in Coney Island (near my job) tomorrow and then I’m open to ideas for Friday while I’m at work (9am-4pm). Email me if you or someone you know are interested. Obviously I’ll check references and whatnot. Thanks!
Got a weird voicemail message from Jacket’s mom chewing me out but I can’t make out why. She keeps repeating “I dress my baby classy”.
Ugh, this could be anything.
2 tags
Ah! Get her out of my dreams!
I had a dream last night that I met Marilyn Monroe (thank you Golden Globes). Turns out, people were totally wrong about her birthday, she was actually born in 1976. We ate at McDonald’s. We had fun. We talked about that cruise ship in Italy that went down. She let me take photos to prove to everyone that I was hangin’ with her.
Sometime later in my dream I told Jacket’s...
2 tags
By the way, 3 HUGE cheers for Jacket’s mom for eating one of these with fake joy. She’s finally starting to get it.
Jacket and her mom are on their way over for lunch and the iPad.
There's a reason I don't want to adopt a boy
I LOVE the name “Crockett” and my friends will disown me if I give that name to a child.
2 tags
Tickets to Florida bought
Jacket’s mom just lectured me for almost 30 minutes on the need to keep Jacket safe in Florida. She gave story after story about how “allll the child rapers are in Florida”.
She might be right, I don’t know the stats, but I’m pretty sure she lives in one of the top 10 most dangerous neighborhoods in the U.S. so it’s a bit ironic. Everyone back home in...
1 tag
my big-time flip-flop
Yesterday I was going to post about a conversation I had with Brian (still just friends- no need to ask), in which he wondered out-loud about when I’m going to move on. Something about if a baby, or my own child, is what I want then I should go for it. My post was going to be about how I realize that it’s not about “a” baby and Jacket doesn’t have to...
sometimes tacky things come out of my mouth
“Big Brothers/Big Sisters is for pussies*. Become a foster parent!”
*I fully support the Big Brother /Big Sisters organization and their mission.
Ok ok will get consent letter
I’m going to use the sample TAONY provided. Thanks!
Taking Jacket to Florida
Jacket’s mom didn’t make it last night, but we did negotiate terms for me to take Jacket home to Florida the 3rd weekend of February.
I tossed the idea out to her about a month ago and told her not to feel pressured. I also modeled NOT telling Jacket and not using her to ask her mom as she so commonly does. Jacket’s mom asked that the trip date be changed and shortened and I...
2 tags
Touche
Last time Jacket’s mom came over she said “Do you ever clean your room?”. Touche. I’m frantically picking up now before they come over tonight.
Thank you for all of the App ideas! I’ve downloaded most all of them.
One last Ipad question that I’m not sure can be answered. Is there anyway to lock down the entire settings icon? I’ve gone into settings...
3 tags
Jacket's Ipad
I got my hands back on Jacket’s Ipad until Tuesday and I’m looking for new Apps. Ideas? My biggest splurge has been on the Dr. Suess books because Jacket picks up on the rhythms so earnestly.
I found a lot of emotion/feeling identification Apps for free like “Moody Monster” and “Dusty D. Dawg”.
I also downloaded some healthy food/Farmer’s Market...
3 tags
playing favorites
I was supposed to have Snap and his foster brother for the weekend but I failed to dig up and fax over my foster parent certification.
If I would have stuck by my original 1 foster kid for life rule I would be pouring so much more time and energy into him but now I’m much more invested in Jacket than Snap. I have mixed feelings about it.
NYTimes article about a 2 year-old killed this... →
The part that bothers me most is the quote at the end that says “She was always dressed well.” It brought back memories about how much emphasis case workers put on how a child was dressed- as if it’s the greatest possible marker of safety and care taking. Obviously not. This mom was clearly mentally ill.
2 tags
2 tags
Jacket’s mom just casually told me that one of her other sister’s children’s foster care agency in another borough has a restraining order out against her.
Is there a way to look-up how many restraining orders a person has? It actually doesn’t sound as though she did that much damage at Jacket’s foster agency this time around.
2 tags
Dear jacket's mom's attorney
Know that I tried to talk Jacket’s mom out of going down to the foster agency and acting crazy. I clearly explained that losing her temper at her sister’s case workers would only serve to raise red flags about her own parenting ability. Note also that I had the detective strongly advise her against the plan to go to the agency in a rage. See how supportive I am of this whole...
2 tags
"I spy something..."
I taught Jacket the game “I spy” today and subsequently rocked her world with the words “gold”, “silver” and “gray”. I had no idea she didn’t know the names of those colors.
I think it’s pretty cool that I can mark the day that I taught any human being the names of those colors.
2 tags
Bored?
We need Play-Doh ideas stat. Know of any links? My snowmen and snakes are only getting us so far and I feel like a creative failure. I’d look around on the internet- but I should be with Jacket.
2 tags
child's play
I don’t know anything about play therapy or child psychology for that matter, but I’m fascinated by Jacket’s play. She reenacts everything from her home. Several times one doll has said to the other “No, this is dad, not your dad”… probably something one of her little cousins has said to her.
chain-mail texts
I frequently get 4, 5 and sometimes 8 part chain mail text messages from the detective about Jesus-y stuff and minutes later Jacket’s mom forwards a random clip of it to me:
“(2/4) f you believe in GOD send this message on, please don’t ignore it. You are being tested. God is going to fix two things (BIG) tonight in your favour. If y”
In a weird way I see it as the...
Message from Jacket's mom
I got a message from Jacket’s mom apologizing for not showing up New Year’s Day. She said that she was sick in the hospital in one borough and Jacket was in another.
I don’t believe her and I refrained from asking questions because I didn’t see the point in forcing her to dig a hole any deeper. I simply told her that they were missed and that I hope she feels better.
...
3 tags
like no other
Despite Jacket’s absence last night, the party went on and we all had a really good time. The detective came with 4 out of 5 of her amazing kids and my friends who hadn’t met her yet were blown away. She has such a presence. Equal parts fun and demanding of respect at the same time.
The detective continues to be the true hero in the story. There’s no way I would still be in...
3 tags
No show.
There’s a bit of a back story. Essentially, Jacket’s mom doesn’t think it’s fair that I said she couldn’t bring additional (drug abusing) family members to dinner. I’m holding my boundary though. The detective is going to make a surprise visit this week.