November 2009
October 2009
The Great SHlep, Charlie Brown
Ok, this will be my last post whereby I moan about our fantastic public transportation system and my lack of a camel.
I had to leave my apartment at 7:30am with a stroller on my back, my tote, a diaper bag and a plastic bag overflowing with my Halloween costume. Halloween is a very big deal at work. Add a heavy, giant textbook that I MUST get home for the weekend. It’s a 45 minute...
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In case anyone is still wondering why ACS is...
http://gothamist.com/2009/10/29/driver_in_queens_crash_smoked_crack.php
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It still happens...
…like this morning, when I find myself googling
[restaurant “high chair” “union square”]
and I think, what. the. hell. am. I. doing?
(by the way, i don’t know where the answer section below came from, but if you know of any good, kid-friendly restaurants in union square, let me know!)
'cause you're never too young for a weave →
The foster children, the crackpipe and the crash →
Update: Queens District Attorney Richard Brown said she admitted she smoked crack cocaine around 2 a.m. Monday, did heroin around 9 a.m. and had one drink around noon that day. The accident occurred around 5 p.m.
Wanted: Ideas for Snap's Halloween Costume
I just found out I’ll have Snap for Halloween (it’s a lock-down day for rehab). All I can come up with for a costume is Charlie Brown. I think he looks like a brown Charlie Brown.
Any other ideas?
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The taxi home
Me: Hi, will you take us to ________ and I'm just dropping the baby off so if you're willing to wait and bring me back...
Bangladeshi taxi driver: Is that your baby?
Me: Sometimes, he was in foster care with me but now he's back with his mom.
Is that where we are going?
Yes, you'll see it's a program. They live in rehab.
I'm sorry my English is not so good, what is rehab?
(bumbling explanation)
Do you have children?
No.
Are you married?
No.
Don't you want to be?
I'm assuming I will be one day.
We are test tube.
(some confused silence) You're going to try for a test tube baby?
Yes, I was married before but now my wife wants a child. But test tube is much money.
Ah, yes so I hear. Well, they always need foster parents.
Is that what you do?
Yes (insert more explanation)
So if I want to do this, I come here?
No, you would need to call ACS, do you know what that is?
No.
Hmm... well you could google, or wait! Just call 311!!
Really?
Yes, just call 311 and tell them you want to be a foster parent. They will totally connect you to an agency near your house.
Ok, I will. What's it called again? Forrester?
Foster Parent. F.O.S.T.E.R.
Ok, got it.
Good Luck!
with a box and receipt
While looking up how to fold the damn baby porn subtitled “Fold and Go”, I came across this ad complete with porn vocabulary:
“Fisher-Price Take-along Hop ‘n Pop
Hi, the above item was bought only last week, very new, used a few times. We are considering getting a rainforest jumperoo, so want to sell this away with a great discount. Original price: S$129 selling at...
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Cheese Doodles and Plaa-taa-nees, 5 of them
Snap’s Mom called back, a bit of a disappointment because instead of Saturday-Sunday she just wants me to take him only on Sunday. As always though, the monologue was priceless,
“Rebecca, he still doesn’t have any teeth yet. I don’t understand why, the doctor said any day. But he eats anyway. Cheese Doodles and Plaa-taa-nees [I think she’s saying platanos, the...
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unnerving
This is the first time I’ve ever had more than 24-hours notice that I’m getting Snap. Very exciting. That was until I bought a new cell phone, from a new carrier, and then saw a missed message from “Snap’s Mom at Rehab”. Neither carrier is interested in helping me retrieve the message from my old phone. It’s lost.
It’s Friday night at 5pm and...
I woke-up with a crazy idea
Why not invite Snap and his Mom to Thanksgiving this year? Where is she going to go? To one of her possible baby-daddy’s place? Probably. We can do better than that. Thanksgiving isn’t at my place this year, but if it needs to be to include her, I think I’ll do it.
Imagine how much fun the board games will be!
I'll take my mini-van and culdesac now
Dear Suburban Mom,
I’m jealous of you. There, I said it. Yes, my life is often like Sex and the City (minus a lot of the sex) and I order dinner from a new, tasty, ethnic restaurant every night. But otherwise I’m hanging out with a baby, plus unavoidable accessories, on an island built for adults.
So when you start to envy my independent, exciting city life, I ask you to do just...
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My 1st Foster Parent Recruit
I’ve recruited a cute, young (23), Spanish-speaking, tough-but-sweet, born-and-raised New Yorker to be a foster parent. Her days are spent working with children with severe challenges as a result of autism. She lives with her sister and together they would like to foster two kids. She’s spectacularly awesome.
Did you catch the part where I tried to allude to the fact that extreme...
You will not regret clicking here... →
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Real babies don't eat baby food
Per Snap’s Mom’s request, I picked-up the phone. It was a bit tricky though because It was 9:30pm Friday night, I was drunk, in a bar, talking to a guy. The phone rings and instead of an unfamiliar dial-N-dash number, her call actually came up “Snap’s Mom- REHAB”. I told the guy “Oh, SHIT, my foster baby’s mama is calling me from rehab, I’ve gotta...
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Snap's got a new name
The last time I picked-up Snap for the weekend, his discharge paper’s listed him with a new last name. A Spanish sounding name. So I asked,
“Oh, did you change Snap’s last name to Jesus’?” (She is now calling Jesus her husband).
“No that was his name on his birth certificate, it’s my friend’s last name. The one you had for him was just for legal...
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Dial-n-dash....Dalmatians, Dalmatians, Dalmatians
At 2:45PM I emailed to a friend:
“i haven’t heard anything from snap’s mom in almost two weeks. it’s always the case though that when i start to get nervous she starts calling me a million times and tossing him at me, so we’ll see if i have him for Halloween!”
At 3:15pm I received this cracked-out, dial-n-dash message:
“Hey Rebecca, it’s me,...
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Alright, alright, I'll take any kid already
I called my foster care agency and told them that I’m starting to cave, I’ll take a kid even if he or she is not on the adoption track. We decided to reconnect after my trip to Atlanta for a conference the first week of November.
Interestingly, I just looked at my timeline and it’s one month to the day that I received my last call requesting that I take a child. So much for my...
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Rehab May 2010 or bust
During Snap’s Mom’s most recent court hearing it was decided that she must stay in rehab until May 2010. While her court dates have been every 3 months, her next one is not until March 2010.
She’s royally pissed.
I’m incredibly relieved.
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How to put your foster baby's rehab into 24-hour...
Suppose your foster baby’s Mom gives you a rediculously sized, 96-ounce can of formula and your friend let’s you in on a mom trick of pre-measuring the formula into sandwich bags for easier transport.
Now, when you return your foster baby, leave one of those plastic baggies of white powder in the diaper bag. Wa-la. 24-hour lock-down.
Foster Parent Classes
I’m hearing crazy stories about other agencies’ MAPP classes where a licensed profesional (!) facilitates the class and there’s homework (!) and someone actually looks at the homework(!!). My entire class would have dropped out if that was the case for us.
Some random MAPP facts I’ve found:
Michigan and Ohio are the only two states that have “Individualized...
“That’s awesome that you’re being a foster parent. I was working...”
– an old roommate of mine who is now a Social Worker in DC highlights why foster parents have such a bad rap
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The Why Question, Redux
After the Mommy Meet-Up Disaster I decided to gracefully bow out of that particular cohort. The only problem was that I had already signed-up to provide a meal for a mother who recently gave birth (and didn’t attend the meet-up mentioned above). Fortunately, this is New York City where no one expects you to actually cook. Instead, you just order something from your favorite restaurant and...
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Impossible to plan...
It’s Thursday night, I could get a call to pick-up Snap tomorrow or maybe not. I have absolutely no idea at this point.
UPDATE: It’s Sunday morning and only now can I declare that there will be no Snap this weekend. I have a lot of work to do, so I don’t mind.
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Perhaps you'd like to be the father, Mr. Nigerian...
Me: Hi, will you take us to ________ and I'm just dropping the baby off so if you're willing to wait and bring me back...
Nigerian taxi driver: WHOSE BABY IS THIS (the accent is harsh and thus the capital letters)
insert abbreviated foster care explanation
ARE YOU MARRIED? DON'T YOU WANT TO GET MARRIED?
Oh, god- you're so West African. Let me guess, Nigeria?
OH, YOU KNOW MY COUNTRY?
insert explanation as to how I know his country.
WHERE IS THE FATHER OF THE CHILD?
Well, even if we knew who he was it doesn't sound like he'd be interested.
YOU CANNOT HAVE A FATHERLESS CHILD.
Why not?
WHAT WILL HE DO WHEN HE GROWS UP?
Hopefully go to college and give back to society.
YOU CANNOT HAVE A FATHERLESS CHILD. WHAT WILL YOU TELL HIM? IN MY COUNTRY, IF THE FATHER WILL NOT ACCEPT HIM, YOU HAVE TO GO TO HIM AND BEG.
Why?
BECAUSE HE HAS TO ANSWER TO HIS FATHER. IF THE FATHER IS DEAD, THAT IS OK. BUT HE STILL MUST ANSWER.
What do you mean?
YOU CANNOT HAVE A FATHERLESS CHILD IN MY COUNTRY. BUT YOUR COUNTRY IS ADVANCED.
I wouldn't call it that....
YOUR COUNTRY IS SUPER GREAT.
So you're happy to be here?
WHAT'S ANOTHER WAY TO SAY HAPPY, BUT MORE?
Thrilled?
YES, I AM SUPER THRILLED.
Class, allow me to digress...
I’ve been a college professor for 7 years now and today, October 5, 2009, marks the day I broke my professional hubris. I showed my students an imovie of Snap.
And it wasn’t just an imovie saved on my laptop or iphone. No, I used the fancy lecture control panel and the GIANT projection screen. Then, I took the whole class to MY FACEBOOK PAGE, where I shamelessly clicked through...
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Big News!
The Children’s Aids Society added my blog to their website. Pretty exciting given that I don’t censor or sugar-coat much ‘round here…. :)
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Another piece of the 'why are you doing this'...
“It’s all about the practice”.
A short audio from John Mattingly, Commissioner of the New York City Administration for Children’s Services.
I like what he had to say and I agree. Next step for me is to learn more about new initiative “Improved Outcomes for Children”.
WatchTake a deep breath before watching this one… here’s a ny times article as well.
Although I don’t know this case, my visceral reaction was to the bit I read about her struggle with infertility and adoption being her second choice. That’s a tough pair of shoes for this little guy to fill….
This is it! We've got to get a program like this... →
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Dial-N-Dash rehab style
I’m torn about whether or not to take Snap on Sunday. First off, I can’t have a conversation with Snap’s Mom to negotiate the logistics… cause, she’s in rehab and all. Cell phones are banned and Snap’s Mom can only make phone calls twice a week from her counselor’s office, with her counselor present. Conversely, I can only call and relay messages back...
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“Hey Rebecca, I just signed a paper to release Snap to you from 8am on Sunday...”
– voicemail message from Snap’s Mom, Friday at 4:00pm.
Kelly from "The Office" blogs about my... →
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My Lady Gaga Baby
The phrase “I had this dream last night” usually causes me to stop listening to people so I hate to throw such dronings onto my blog, but…
I was Lady Gaga, singing on stage and my foster baby was crying. I asked the big, vast audience If there lives would be ruined if I ended the concert a song early to go take care of my baby. The audience was merciless and they almost caused...
