June 2010
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not including work
This week’s exhausting schedule:
1. sign new lease
2. find/interview subtleties for my current apartment
3. court (yesterday)
4. ACS (OSI) visit (yesterday)
5. 3-hour conversation with player in Jacket’s case (yesterday)
6. psychiatric observation appointment (2 hours + 2 hour commute= today)
7. go pee for ACS (OSI drug test= tomorrow morning)
8. find new daycare in brooklyn
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At least 5 more months of Jacket and now the case worker has to take her upstate to visit her father in jail. The place where he was allowed to make Jacket in the first place- in spite of his long sentence…
If I hear ‘I’ve never heard of this happening in a case’ again, I’m going to scream. Jacket’s dad is appearing via satellite. My only concern is that he will identify a family member willing to take her….
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A friend asked “Are you worried about finding daycare near your new apartment?” and I blurted out “No, it’s surrounded by the projects.” It’s awful, but I just looked up our options and it’s true…
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very unhip
I’m considering moving into a ‘luxury’ building. There, I said it. I’ve lived in tenement buildings for 10 years and while I love them I sure as hell could use an elevator, on-site laundry and recreation room for Jacket. I found one in Brooklyn already that I’m in love with but it’s only a tiny block from the foster care agency. A million reasons why...
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“Neglect is the LAST word you should be using to describe Ms. Rebecca.”
– Said by our case worker during a meeting whereby Jacket’s Mom accused me of neglect and several other abuses.
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These days Jacket thinks every dry fire hydrant is a broken playground sprinkler. She runs up and hugs them each shouting “Oh, NO! Ooh, Noo!”.
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a new fosterhood!
K just got her first placement (aka living, breathing, human children) and started a blog:
http://theholdingpattern.tumblr.com
She took TWO children on by herself. TWO. T.W.O. and they are both old enough to talk. And ask questions. And demand things like a cab so that they can go home.
It was just last October that K emailed me ”I was very excited to find a 4-pack of Peanuts...
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i now live in a disco club...
…as Jacket discovered yesterday that she can reach the light switches.
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She's totally messing with me
Jacket: Eh, eh, KIX!
Me: Ok, I'll get you some Kix, where is your bowl-
eh, eh, SHOES! off. SHOES OFF!
Ok, I'll help you get your shoes off but first I'm getting your-
SHOES OOOFFFFFFFFFF!
Ok, let's take your shoes off-
KIX! juice. want juice.
OK, I'm getting you some Kix and juice right-
JUICE!
YES! I'M GETTING IT!
milk.
Do you want juice or milk? (she has the juice in front of her)
MILK.
Why did you ask for juice? Getting milk now.
(set milk down) No milk, NO!
OH MY GOD ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! SHOES, KIX, JUICE, MILK AND NOW YOU DON'T EVEN WANT THE MILK?? What are you, LIKE 2 YEARS OLD OR SOMETHING?! WHAT'S YOU'RE FREAKING DEAL (accompanying belly tickle)?!?
(roaring laughter)
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another reality check
I think that when visits between Jacket and her Mom are reinstated they will be bumped up to twice a week instead of just once. The visitation coach will have to be present, however. There was a big meeting yesterday and the tone was unusually campy. Lot’s of talk of taking the steps necessary to reunite mom and child….
After the meeting I went to pick-up Jacket from daycare and I...
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“It doesn’t open.”
– My most frequent lie to Jacket right now.
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“Baby! Sleeping? ICE CREAM!”
– Jacket’s response to seeing this website…(icon to the left)
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“You’re welcome, Sweetie!”
– Jacket’s new response to “Thank you”
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Wondering at what age they start asking for some...
I noticed that Jacket was shouting “Snack, please”, “Ca-ca!” and asking to get in and out of her booster seat just to get me up off my ass and interact with her. So, I’ve taught her to say “I want attention” and it works. I think it’s the most amazing fucking thing because she uses it so appropriately.
Since 3 words together is a big deal for her,...
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a little reflection
I really can’t imagine Jacket in a foster home with 4 or 5 other kids. If I even touch another baby she wails and tries to shove them away. She soaks up every extra second of my attention and I think it’s a really healthy response for her. It just reinforces my wish that more ‘regular’ people would foster just a couple of kids in their lifetime and stay committed to them...
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Jacket just ate a whole carton of raspberries. Is that ok?
a piece of fiction
The following is fiction and not based on any true events. ————- Let’s pretend that I heard about a foster parent, through a friend-of-a-friend-of-a-friend, in a foreign country over a century ago. The foster child’s (bio) mom’s visits were suspended while awaiting a visitation coach referral. Due to some unusual circumstances, the foster parent was...
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Believe it or not, the OSI is the least of my foster care worries right now…
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what was i thinking?
Jacket: Snack PLEASE!
Me: Ok. What would you like?
- silence-
Would...you like Cheerios?
NO!
Would... you like Kix?
NO!
Would...you like a banana?
NO!
(knowing that this means she isn't hungry) Would...you like an elephant?
YES!
Oh, shit- really? I don't have an elephant.
scream. wail. tantrum. stink eye. turns chair over. more screaming.
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OSI (ACS-aka the government) investigator came 45 minutes after we arrived back home from Florida last night. She was nice.
Next step, I’ll be sent to the Bronx to have my pee collected. The standard case takes 60 days for a decision.
If you ever want to meet me, apparently I’m frequently found at Macy’s doing lines of coke with hungry, bruised toddlers and Jacket’s...
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all about the OSI
mjfrombuffalo posted this in the comment section but I’m not sure everyone saw it:
The number of OSI cases has increased dramatically over the past few years, partially because the number of allegations against foster parents has increased and because OSI is accepting more allegations for investigation. The agency is required to notify you as soon as they find out there is an allegation,...
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Her swimsuit has replaced her Jacket making diaper changes really, really difficult…
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the allegation...(OSI investigation)
Just want to quickly say that I got the story and the child abuse report to ACS (which instigated the OSI, Office of Special Investigations) is so nonsensical, I’m not really that stressed about it anymore. Allegedly, the caller knows someone who
1. saw me snort cocaine in the bathroom of Macy’s while leaving Jacket in line
2. saw me come out of the bathroom and pinch Jacket’s...
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Landed in florida for (approved) vacation and the agency called and said that I have an OSI case against me but they don’t know why.
I’m devastated.
When is someone going to start www.ratemynonprofit.org a la www.ratemyprofessor.com?
just wondering…
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When you see child abuse on the subway →
Way before I thought about being a foster parent, I had and overheard many a conversation about “those parents on the subway”. What can you do? I never had an answer until I dug this up on the ACS website. I wish they had it in a more prominent place. If you ever try it, let us know how it worked out…I’ll turn it into its own post if you’re willing.
Don’t give...
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“You like that big black dick.”
– said to me by a dark-skinned woman on 1st avenue and 3rd street…thus eliminating my question as to if anyone might consider Jacket as biologically mine. 