January 2011
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Losing our case worker
Just found out that Jacket’s Mom’s lawyer is requesting that our foster agency worker be removed from the case. Jacket’s Mom even said tonight that it’s not what she wants. I wonder if this is common when a case doesn’t go a lawyer’s way?
It’s really sad because the case worker is clearly demoralized by it. She said she’s taking herself off the...
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Full
Multiple calls and multiple requests from Snap’s Mom during the past 24-hours. Brian was just complaining (in a nice way) that the voicemail on my cell phone is full. It’s because I only deal with foster care phone calls during a 2-hour window on weekdays and none on weekends (my way of reserving some sanity). Since yesterday was even a snow day for the government I didn’t...
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I promise an update in the morning
After a day at work, visiting Snap’s Mom in the hospital, chasing Jacket through the snow to and from daycare, six phone calls from Jacket’s Mom demanding the snow globe, four phone calls from Snap’s Mom asking when I’m going to visit again (and for an address to have her Medicaid card mailed to), and a lengthy status-of-our-relationship-if-there-will-be-two-kids...
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Snap's Mom called...
Snap’s Mom left me two voicemail messages last night asking me to adopt Snap. She told me which psychiatric hospital she’s at and she wants me to visit. And bring her lunch (of course).
Try waking up your boyfriend to that news…
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6:03am at Macy's
Jacket: Mom, say You're at Macy's.
Me: You're at Macy's.
NO, say YOU'RE AT MA-CY'S.
YOU'RE AT MA-CY'S.
No, you're at Macy's.
Sweetie, I don't know what you're saying. It's still night-night time.
UHHH, You're A Maaaa-cy's.
Oh, YOU'RE AMAZING!!!
YES!!! Now tickle me!
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First joke?
Jacket: Mom, what do you say?
Me: What?
Mom, What do you say?
Uhm, thank you?
Nooooo.
Please?
Nooooooo. Mom, what do you say?
Excuse me?
Nooooo, FOWT (fart)!!! Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
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“I not ‘So Bossy’, I’m JACKET. Now, MAKE. T.V. ON.”
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“Mommy, HERE’S THE DEAL. Pick-up my toys and you can watch Dora. Got it?”
– Jacket, with complimentary finger wagging
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Was just thinking to myself, as a foster parent, it’s specifically my job to be emotionally involved and it’s specifically eveyone else’s job to refrain from emotional involvement.
I think anyway.
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drama, drama, and more drama
Rumor has it, Jacket’s Mom’s attorney is trying to get my foster license revoked. Apparently, I’m “too involved in the case”. My response was 1. Is it even possible for a foster parent to be ‘too’ involved? and 2. I’m only as involved as the professionals at hand allow me to be.
Jacket’s Mom’s attorney has gone so far as to dig around...
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Private Parts
I just realized that I’ve avoided teaching Jacket the name of her genitals. When helping her bathe I always say “Wash between your legs”. I’m scared to death that if I teach her the word ‘vagina’ she might repeat it to her mother, in any variation, and allegations will flare…
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Taking your kid to work. . .
theholdingpattern:
…is not all it’s cracked up to be. What was I thinking?
Same here. I had all of these big plans to have Jacket with me at work on a semi-regular basis. Who knew an office held so many choking hazards? Not to the mention the scissors, white-out (didn’t come out of my trousers), and stapler.
And who would have guessed that Jacket would screech “HE SCARES...
On hold
Today I’m noticing all of the little things I did to prepare myself in the weeks before I thought Jacket was going home to her mom.
For example, I changed the desktop photo on my work computer from Jacket on the beach to a generic garden landscape….. I went through her toys and chose a few meaningful ones to keep that she doesn’t play with anymore…. I sent off for...
WatchBrian tries to teach Jacket to jump with both feet.
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"Jacket, she can't see you nodding your head"
Jacket’s visit with her Mom was canceled this past week. Something like a mix-up between her Mom and the case worker in addition to Mom just being stubborn. This means it’ll be a two-week span, aka eternity in Jacket time, between visits.
I’m being a rock star about phone calls though. Jacket’s Mom understands my 7-8pm boundary but she didn’t pick-up on the...
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Early this morning I took a leak in the dark and when I flushed it sounded like the A train passed through. “JACKET, what did you put in the potty?!” I shouted. “Wocks.” she replied. Why I didn’t stop there I have no idea but instinctually I asked “Rocks and WHAT?” to which she answered “A doll.”
Calling the super now.
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An enriching day
Brian: What did you do at daycare today?
Jacket: Watch T.V.
And what else?
Payed it wocks.
What?
Payed it wocks.
What?
Pay-ed IT WOCKS.
Played with rocks?
Yes.
Just had to call in a case to ACS for work- not something that is common in my position. The case was accepted. Feels weird to have my worlds collide like that.
Brian Junior
Brian reported that he dreamt last night that he had a baby. His very first and very vivid dream of being a father.
The baby mama was Snooki.
Their baby was named Brian Anthony Anthony.
Did someone say it's not over until it's over?
I have to skip all of the court details for you and only say that it looks like I’ll have Jacket for a few more months.
What a fucking emotional roller coaster.
Jacket’s mom didn’t do anything, it just looks like it was decided that some more services should be in place. Adoption is not and will not be on the table.
I expected to feel elated, but I just feel drained as it...
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K.I.T.4ever
Me: ........and lastly, I just want to let you know that I'm going to send photos of Jacket to her father again in prison. I'll bring the envelope by the agency so the case worker can see what I'm sending. Also, I'll make sure to give duplicate pictures to Jacket's mom as I always do.
Law Guardian's Social Worker: You're so good.
Actually, it's pretty selfish. I think my only hope of keeping up with Jacket is going to be letters from her father in prison.
It's good that you've got the bar set low.
Yeah, I'm her Mom's best friend of the moment and she's angry with the case worker. It'll flip again in 5 minutes. My bar is set really low. I'm just hoping to find Jacket on facebook in 15 years.
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Nothing good is going on when I see Jacket walk across the room with a stool.
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update
I was told that the foster agency is going to ask for a 3 month transition which would entail Jacket going to her Mom’s on weekends. I think the law guardian is going to ask for something similar but for 1 month.
One would think that I’d be happy about this possible extension but a part of me is just so emotionally exhausted by it all. The idea of it dragging sucks for me but I...
Just made a picture book for Jacket’s Mom with healthy foods that Jacket likes.
The last visit she only fed her Cracker Jacks and lollipops.
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Me: What are you doing?
Jacket: I getting my boogers.
Use a tissue to get your boogers. Q-tips are only for your toes (I had to come up with something).
Look at my boogers!
I see.
Look at my boogers!
I did. Put that in the trash.
Look at my boogers!
No. Put it in the trash.
LOOK AT MY BOOGERS!
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“EEWWWWWWW!, That’s gusting!”
– Jacket, when I handed her clean underwear…apparently repeating something she learned in daycare
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“Stop. and. listen. You MUST put your underwear on before playing on the...”
– Me, first words of 2011 