May 2012
Hopefully I'll know more today
I really have no idea how this is going to go down. I don’t even know how I want it to go down. Jacket going back into foster care puts me back into the system as well. Guardianship still leaves her mom with enough room to yank my chain.
If nothing happens I view it as a missed opportunity to get Jacket and her mom the services and support they need (which she won’t accept...
WatchSnail mania
WatchWho needs the zoo when you have your very own pooping snails in the parking lot?
Part of my anxiousness is from experiencing how confused and restless Jacket is. She’s overheard her mom say some awful stuff and she’s afraid she’s going to be sent away for being bad. I can’t tell her when she’s going to see her mom again.
She’s repeating to me arguments that she has with her mom. Sort of funny but also sad. Like “My mommy says my...
an.xi.e.ty.
The gravity of it all it starting to hit me and I’m getting incredibly anxious which leads to feeling panicky about getting anxious. All I want to do is curl up in bed, but I have Jacket to take care of.
Hyperventilation intervention needed.
I’m mustering up all of my energy to take Jacket to the beach with Stefanie and friends. Hopefully it’ll put some fresh air in my head.
Definitely some subtle indications that Jacket’s life has been more chaotic than normal. One example, Jacket changed into a nighttime pull-ups early in the day. When I asked her what she was doing she told me she had to pee-pee. WHAT? Go to the toilet! She did but she barely made it. Also, she was in a wet pull-up when I picked her up yesterday. Maybe they ARE homeless now, who knows? Will....
some answers to your questions
Still not sure what I’m going to tell Jacket’s mom. The ACS worker advise me not to tell her that she visited, if only to preserve our relationship. Jacket’s mom hasn’t told me that ACS is looking for her, I even asked early on and she said no. I am still hoping to say something like “They stopped by looking for Jacket. They saw that she was healthy and fine. You...
WatchMaybe riding the scooter this morning in our rush to work and daycare wasn’t such a good idea after all. We’re a bit rusty in our commuting efficiency.
2 tags
Don't try to run away from ACS
Can’t sleep so, lessons you should write down.
1. Don’t try to run away from ACS
2. Don’t have a strange man call and lie to ACS for you
3. Don’t scream craziness right next to the strange man on the phone with ACS
4. Use *67 before prank calling ACS
5. Don’t say a child doesn’t live where they actually live. The next conclusion becomes the child is ...
1 tag
check this
When I asked the ACS case worker how she got my number she said “from your cases”, meaning the previous false allegation of child abuse against me by (assuming) Jacket’s mom.
Can you believe that alllllll of that snorting coke in Macy’s drama actually was what facilitated ACS to reach out to me today, over a year after reunification (unlike in Snap’s case)?
I can...
1 tag
Call from ACS looking for Jacket. My heart is pounding like crazy in fear. I can already tell this is a GOOD, SANE case worker. I essentially said “I have no new concerns” and that Jacket “looks and acts healthy enough to me but I’ll always support someone checking in on them” (I wouldn’t blog about any of this is such was not the case). Then I got a call from...
“Come get her.”
– Jacket’s Mom (on my way)
Lots of phone calls from Jacket’s mom trying to pull me in to building a case against her sister. I wish she’d just re-channel that energy and follow through on Jacket swim lessons already.
Text message at 5am from Jacket’s mom asking if I can take her for a few days. I of course said yes but didn’t hear back. I’m guessing the sisters called 911 on each other during the night… just a guess.
3 tags
This is going to bite her in the ass
Jacket’s mom is apparently in a fight with her sister and she has sent the cousins back home. I started receiving not-so-subtle text messages earlier today “Do you think her kids are dirty?” . My replies are always written with the expectation to one day hear them read out loud in court:
“I hadn’t noticed. Are you worried about them?”
The truth is, yes, the...
It's official, I've aged out
In my “about me” section, I wrote a while back:
“Perhaps I can inspire a new breed of foster parents? A younger (under 35), more educated, urban, adventurous and socially responsible kind?”
I started my foster parent journey when I was 32 and last week I turned 36! I’ve aged-out of my own (and MTVs) demographic. So what does this mean? It’s clear...
1 tag
Only mommy war worth waging... →
by the way, this is Erika’s (nothankyoubites) most recent blog reincarnation
a wee bit of bitching
Jacket arrived in a pull-up yesterday. What the fuck? She’s been toilet trained almost 2 years now. Her mom’s explanation was that she gets them half price at BJ’s.
Elia brought Jacket a bag of gifts and while it was originally in Jacket’s hands, her mom guarded the bag and opened it all herself. We were able to play with some of the cool presents, but...
2 tags
can't decide on tomorrow's agenda
Jacket et al are coming over tomorrow. I can’t decide if I want to keep Jacket to myself playing games, reading books, doing arts and crafts or take them all out to a street fair or museum.
I think Jacket’s mom really benefits from seeing a world beyond hers but there’s also a real benefit to not wasting time dragging Jacket around the city. Hmm….
Being turned off by the pitfalls of voluntourism was one of the reasons I chose to focus my energy on foster parenting:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/daniela-papi/voluntourism_b_1525532.html
