Okay, last Asia quote for a while- she really should have her own blog or twitter feed of these. 

This morning she was giving the girls a bath and I overheard her say to one who was trying to leap out of the tub

"Nah ah, sit down right now, your little booty needs to marinate for a while".

True that.

Clementine, there are girls in Sephora crying right now for a tan like yours.
Asia

I used the spa gift certificates today that Asia gave me. 2 hours of massage. I feel like jello. Asia’s doing Sandy’s visit today so that it’s not immediately undone.

What?! You don’t say ‘no’ to me. You say no to drugs and no to strangers, but not ‘no’ to me, little girl.
Asia

Wow, I had no idea that this is where the big bucks are at:

Deputy Commissioner, Early Care and Education at ACS

Salary110,000.​00 - 175,000.​00 $ /​year

To learn more, visit www.​nyc.​gov/​careers/​search Search for Job Opening ID #153769.​ EOE.​

Spoke to Clementine’s bio great-aunt last night.  She went on and on about how happy she is that Runfostermama and I have the kids and are providing them with such a variety of life experiences.  Very sweet of her.

Clementine spent the past half an hour licking her hands up and down and to her elbows and back. Nice.

Sandy wins the human-most-suspicious-of-carousels award. She nonetheless wanted to go a second time but she wasn’t about to let go of my hand.

Get Ready For It, MY BEST FOSTER CARE EXPERIENCE EVER

Sandy has pink-eye and for the first time I needed to get a prescription filled for her.  I took it to my local pharmacy along with the special card from the foster agency that essentially says this-is-a-foster-child-and-what’s-on-this-card-is-the-only-info-you’re-going-to-get-so-suck-it.  The pharmacist was all “What is this?” we need her actual Medicaid card.  I explained that I’ll never have it, foster parents never get it, he’ll never get it and supposedly the special numbers on the card are to magically transmit to Medicaid the real number.

[Pause here to think about what kind of ridiculous fraud must have happened by foster parents in the past for us not to be trusted with foster kids’ Medicaid cards]

I asked the pharmacist to call the foster agency but he pointed to the foster agency name and said “I hate dealing with places like this”.  I was in a shi-shi pharmacy and I wanted to say “Yes, abused and neglected children are a giant inconvenience, it’s too bad that competent people like you don’t contribute to make the system better” - but I bit my tongue.  Instead, I called the agency on speaker phone and made him deal with it.  Unfortunately, or fortunately, I was connected to the medical director who told him it was his problem.  They argued.  Sandy screamed for $17 cough drops inches from her grasp.

THEN, the medical director told me that the foster agency has a contract with a pharmacy that delivers within all 5 boroughs.  I could just fax the script to her.  I got bold “I don’t have a fax but I can scan, any chance I could scan and email it?” YES.

And get this, IT WORKED.  A DUDE CAME TO MY HOUSE TONIGHT WITH SANDY’S EYE DROPS.

REPEAT, I SCANNED a prescription, EMAILED IT to the foster agency and HOURS LATER SOMEONE SHOWED UP AT MY DOOR WITH MEDICATION.

Soooooooooo fantastic.  I wish they’d take my prescriptions as well!

6 Reasons I Really Adore My Daughter's Birth Mom

My Babble.com gig has totally changed.  There’s a lot less of us now and Disney is emphasizing quality over quantity, which I like.  Instead of 14 posts a month, I only have to write 4.  I’ll post them here every once in a while instead of the monthly round-ups but if you want to catch them all my twitter or pinterest feeds are probably your best bet.

There are 3 foster parents who wouldn’t answer the teacher, wouldn’t participate in discussion, wouldn’t make eye-contact and are just sitting with their arms crossed staring straight ahead.

If I don’t get out that may be me in 5 years.

"You do what you have to do to stay connected"

Foster parents are sharing stories about things they do for their former foster kids’ parents in order to keep the kids in their life. A la Jacket’s mom and me. Stories like:

1. Throwing elaborate baby showers for the moms
2. Running gallons of milk to the family at 2am
3. Buying clothes that they see put on other kids

"I know she’s using me but I do what I gotta do to stay connected".

Foster parent next to me answered her phone on SPEAKER and is STILL TALKING.

Sitting in foster parent training

Teacher no-showed, they tossed in a woman who’s been at the agency for 1 month. The foster parents are eating this poor woman alive. “Why don’t you feed me, I’m hungry!”, “Yeah, donuts ain’t no good”. 10 minutes in and they already pulled 2 veteran foster parents out of class for being so disruptive.

Remember when I said the cosleeping thing was going to be an issue? Well, guess how many towels and blankets Sandy gets up and tosses into Clementine’s bed all night long (hence, I wasn’t sleeping last night and was posting at 3am). I’m scared she’ll suffocate.

Well, I would like to announce success. Last night Sandy successfully traded an open Chapstick ball (the kind Asia has that she’s obsessed with) in exchange for the her nest of towels.