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13th January 2012

79 notes

my big-time flip-flop

Yesterday I was going to post about a conversation I had with Brian (still just friends- no need to ask), in which he wondered out-loud about when I’m going to move on.  Something about if a baby, or my own child, is what I want then I should go for it.  My post was going to be about how I realize that it’s not about “a” baby and Jacket doesn’t have to “belong” to me- I’m in love with her and staying in her life is the most satisfying thing I’ve ever done.  Maybe I won’t ever have/adopt children, and for the first time I could envision being really happy and childless.

Then the agency called me about a baby.  I ignored it.  This new homefinding woman who called me is the same one who has called me about some other babies recently.  Finally, I called her back and

THE CRAZIEST WORDS CAME OUT OF MY MOUTH-

“I really only want to adopt.”  Perhaps I thought that by expressing the cardinal sin of fostering- wanting to keep a child forever— that it would put the kabosh on all of this.  Instead the homefinder said “Oh, the 12 day old baby from yesterday was for adoption.”  And then I said “No, I mean really for adoption.  Not any of this Babies-Can’t-Wait stuff.  I mean a child where four previous siblings were adopted”.  And she said “Oh, I had one of those this morning, but I already placed the child.  I’ve been getting a lot of legally freed babies recently.”  And then, sounding like an asshole, I said “Well, I really want a girl.  And a little color is a plus, too.  You don’t have to save me for the white babies.”  And she said “I didn’t even think to do that.  All of the children recently have been Africa-American.”

She said she’d probably be in touch soon.

Holy Guacamole. 

Tagged: adoption

  1. anotherfreckle said: it’s interesting to read this. i’m in LA & we’re considering adoption (or fost-adopt) … but everyone says it’s SO hard to get an infant, even when going thru DCFS (our tentative plan.) but it always seems like they’re throwing them at you!
  2. momentsofhonesty said: (:
  3. theworldoffostering said: Finally!
  4. stillwishingforfaries said: WOW!
  5. singleinchicago said: Wow congrats!
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