Fosterhood in NYC

8th August 2009

Groundhog Day at the clinic

There were several moments yesterday in which I openingly wondered if I was stuck in the film Groundhog Day.  Either that or a bad Seinfeld episode.  Eaglet had a retina appointment and a “walk-in” referral for a routine hearing screen at NY Eye and Ear Hospital.  Oh, yeah- I just did what you think I did, I named the hospital.  They’ve stolen two days of my life and a year of my soul that I can never, ever get back and defimation sounds like such a pretty word when you say it several times in a row.

Step 1: 8:30am- Retina 8th floor, stand in line

Step 2: Get approved to stand in another room

Step 3: Try to get hearing screen since wait is over 2 hours

Step 4: “No appointment” line for hearing clinic (wait for almost 2 hours here)

Step 5: Go to “Window 2” in other building

Step 6: Be told by “Window 2” must go back up to register in Retina Center

Step 7: Explain to Retina Center, approved to stand in 3rd room

Step 8: Called to register

Step 9: Approved to stand in another waiting room

Step 10: change diaper while standing.  Earn cheers from patients

Step 11: Taken to room

Step 12: Told retina appointment needs to be rescheduled (3rd time btw)

Step 13: Room to register to reschedule

Step 14: Back to Window 2 for hearing screen

Step 15: New woman at Window 2, sent back to “No Appointment” line

Step 16: Sent back to Window 2 to register

Step 17: Told “cannot have 2 medicaid appointments in same day”

Step 18: Called agency, wondered what really sick people do

Step 19: Had revelation as to why people on welfare never get out.  Because they cannot have a job and STAND IN LINE at the same time

Step 20: Back to Retina center to insist that they cancel the canceled appointment so that we can be seen in hearing

Step 21: “No Appointment line”

Step 22: Window 2

Step 23: Window 1

Step 24: Another building to register for more wasting our tax dollars bullshit

Step 25: Granted permission to stand in next waiting room (no chairs in any room yet)

Step 26: Name called, taken to next waiting room

Step 27: Seen by med student (not even resident), I explained that Eaglet is here for hearing screen because she failed the first one at birth, he writes it down and sends us to

Step 28: Exit desk gives paper for name of another clinic which doesn’t have any available appointments until OCTOBER

Step 29: STAND OUTSIDE AND COUNT TO 100

Step 30: See med student again, ask for hearing screen at the EAR HOSPITAL today as per referral

Step 31: Referred back to exit desk

Step 32: Lobby desk ask for “patient relations”

Step 33: tried to find admin building

Step 34: Found complaint office and requested letter for ACS explaining why hearing screen wasn’t done today.  And, by the way- how in the world are you getting away with billing medicaid today for an appointment?  Did I really just register 7 times and stand in line for 5 hours to have a med student agree with the NICU audiologist and her pediatrician that she needs a hearing screen?

Step 35: Taken to someone important

Step 36: Put in one waiting room to stand

Step 37: Put in another waiting room to stand

Step 38: Put in yet another waiting room to stand

Step 39: Promised immediate appointment at “other clinic” for hearing screen

Step 40: took cab to other clinic

Step 41: 4:20pm-Lady shook some bells at Eaglet and determined her fine

Now 30 minutes until court ordered visit with Mom at the agency.  Rush home to give Eaglet a bath to wash off the prescription diaper cream that mom doesn’t approve of (because of “the chemicals”- NEVER MIND THE CRACK STILL IN HER BODY), dressed her in the required 40 layers, and grabbed the unnecesary stroller.