Why did I ask?

Since Jacket mentioned coming over in the previously posted voicemail message, I asked her mom if they were actually planning on it.  That’s when I was told that they are flying to Florida today.  But of course, in the midst of telling me this, she contradicted herself several times.

I don’t think she’s capable completing the logistics necessary to buy a plane ticket, much less navigate her way through Laguardia or JFK.  She uses mythical trips to Florida and “leaving the country” as an escape.  Although this time, I’m not sure why she feels she needs to run away from me.  Who knows.

A few of you (in particular Jason’s mom- hi!) have asked why I don’t call Jacket’s mom out on her fabrications.  I had to think about it.  The first thing that comes to mind is an old graduate school counseling mantra “Don’t rationalize with the irrational”.  That phrase has saved me countless hours, days and probably months of my life.  Second, the times I have called her out she just raises the crazy up another notch.  A la,

“You’re right, I’m not going to Florida, we’re going to Guam- FOREVER. Oh, I mean the MOON, that’s right my husband arranged that shit for me from prison.  He’s connected to the Chinese- he’s powerful like that.  What?  Are you saying my HUSBAND DOESN’T LOVE ME?”

So, yeah- that never gets me anywhere.  And Lord knows she’s been confronted about crazy lies before.  Those psycho-fests were known as FTC’s (Family Team Conferences) in foster care.  No one could pen down Jacket’s mom, not even about the sky being blue.  “You say you have a job at Amtrack, but we called the number you gave us and it was your sister”.  Busted, right?  Nope, she would just insist that the case workers called the wrong number.  “Let’s call the number now”.  Nope, she has a new supervisor and doesn’t have the number with her, she’ll have to get back to you.  What is she going to do with Jacket while she works?  She’s not going to work.  How is she going to pay the bills?  She’s going to work.  Then where will Jacket go?  “I SAID I’m not going to work.” 

So Jacket’s mom said they’re going to Florida.  Okay, have a great trip!  My goal is to stay in Jacket’s life as a stable support person.  Hopefully one day many years from now I can wink at Jacket and whisper “Don’t worry, you’re not crazy, I know you didn’t go to Florida.”

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28 Notes

  1. elizmayerle said: I’m so glad Jacket has you in her life. I know what it’s like to grow up thinking YOU’RE the crazy one, that your parent has to be right—it’s so important to have an alternate perspective.
  2. yeahchloe reblogged this from fosterhood and added:
    kinda know what ur going thru……:/...soooo tough. :( i got
  3. electrickitten said: It would be nice if eventually she learned that she didn’t need to hide the truth from you.
  4. mamamusement said: “Don’t rationalize with the irrational”. THANK YOU.
  5. fosterhood posted this