When Jacket, her mom and grandma came on Sunday I was so excited I rushed out the door to meet them at the elevator and………………..locked my ass out. Barefoot no less. No cell phone.
Fucking hell did Jacket’s mom and grandma become PROBLEM SOLVERS OF THE UNIVERSE. They started banging on all of my neighbors’ doors and shouting wild, nonsensical things. You guys, I can’t even begin to convey what kind of shit show it was. The neighbors would open their door a crack and then slam it shut bolting the locks.
I DID need the neighbors in order to get the super’s number, but I couldn’t manage to get to anybody before Jacket’s mom and grandma did. Nightmare. Total nightmare. Crazy, angry, toothless ladies shouting for people to open their doors because they “KNOW YOU’RE IN THERE”. They need “MIKE’S NUMBER, I MEAN TOM’S- NO, IT’S MARVIN- GIVE ME MARVIN’S NUMBER! WHAT? WELL THEN GIVE US A POWER SAW, OR A COAT HANGER OR ALL OF YOUR MONEY!”
I was powerless. I was also not in a hurry. These things have a way of working themselves out, but Jacket’s mom and grandma were on MANIC, EMERGENCY MODE. When I did finally convince a neighbor (I eventually raced up to a floor they hadn’t reached yet) that I actually indeed live in the building and I wasn’t being held against my will by a mob, I had no choice but to use grandma’s phone. I didn’t know how to use grandma’s phone. But Jacket’s mom did. But, she’s not able to retain 3 digits in short term memory- and that’s how people usually convey phone numbers. You know, area code first like 718 pause 302 pause… no can do. I now know that her digit span is only 1. So it was all “SEVEN WHAT? SEVEN EIGHT? SEVEN THREE? SEVEN? ONE? ONE OR NINE? SO, SEVEN NINE THAT’S NOT WHAT YOU SAID, YOU SAID SEVEN EIGHT! GIVE ME THE NUMBER AGAIN!”
When the super came, they BUM RUSHED HIM. I’m surprised he even let me in. He was happy to see Jacket and fortunately after a few minutes he figured out the situation. I don’t ever want to replay it in my memory again- but if someone can get a chuckle out of it, by all means.
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- cmmama10 said: OMG I am laughing & horrified all in one instance! Poor Jacket to be from that!! But I can relate!! Luckily she is still too young to be embarrassed by them yet! I come from crazy stock & know that you just walk away quietly & pretend I don’t know them!
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- ohbabybird said: Oh shit I love love this! I wish I had been there to take in all that magical goodness! Those are the events that I live for man!
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- relativekarma said: haha i can see it now.
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- you-n-me-kid said: omg, you poor thing! I did get a chuckle outta it — only cause I can imagine the craziness that was that moment. Glad it’s over!
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- mamamusement said: Hey, at least she met the super… ;-)
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