Fosterhood in NYC

15th October 2009

1 note

Rehab May 2010 or bust

During Snap’s Mom’s most recent court hearing it was decided that she must stay in rehab until May 2010.  While her court dates have been every 3 months, her next one is not until March 2010. 

She’s royally pissed.

I’m incredibly relieved.

Tagged: rehabsnap in rehabSnap's Mom

14th October 2009

How to put your foster baby’s rehab into 24-hour lock-down

Suppose your foster baby’s Mom gives you a rediculously sized, 96-ounce can of formula and your friend let’s you in on a mom trick of pre-measuring the formula into sandwich bags for easier transport. 

Now, when you return your foster baby, leave one of those plastic baggies of white powder in the diaper bag.  Wa-la. 24-hour lock-down.

Tagged: rehabsnap in rehabawesome

2nd October 2009

Dial-N-Dash rehab style

I’m torn about whether or not to take Snap on Sunday.  First off, I can’t have a conversation with Snap’s Mom to negotiate the logistics… cause, she’s in rehab and all.  Cell phones are banned and Snap’s Mom can only make phone calls twice a week from her counselor’s office, with her counselor present.  Conversely, I can only call and relay messages back to Snap’s Mom through her counselor (Mon-Fri 10am-4pm).  This leads Snap’s Mom to dial-n-dash contraband calls from all sorts of phones.  Such was the message I received today. The call came in from yet another phone number I didn’t recognize, subsequently I didn’t pick it up and now I cannot call her back.

Where does she make these calls from you ask?  Everywhere.  Cashier at the grocery store?  “Hey, can I use your phone real quick?”.  Snap’s pediatric surgeon? “I have to make a call, I’m just going to use your phone.” (He looked at me and I gave him Big Eyes, subtly shook my head and pierced my lips ‘nooo’).   Man on the street with a phone AND smoking?  Oh my god does he have no clue what’s coming “Hey, can I have a smoke and can I just use your phone really fast and do you have a light because you look Jewish. oh, you’re not?  You’re Puerto Rican?  I like Puerto Ricans my son is either Puerto Rican or Haitian but it doesn’t matter because both guys are bad news could I just have a second cigarette?”

So here’s what royally sucks about picking up Snap on Sunday,

It’s a 1 hour and 15 minutes ride on the subway, one-way.  That totals 5 hours on the subway in one day, or $90 in cab fare.  I try very, very hard to stay off the subway on the weekends seeing as I usually spend a couple hours a day commuting to work, meetings, events, etc during weekdays.  5 hours really, really sucks.  And that 5 hours is assuming that Snap and I don’t go anywhere for the day.

And, allow me to moan even further and louder.  Please read this very, very loudly so that every one around you becomes startled:

SUBWAY STAIRS AND STROLLERS SUCK JUST AS MUCH AS IT LOOKS.  IT SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS SUCKS.

If you live in nyc and you’re anywhere near child-bearing age, you’ve had that moment when you’ve seen a mom hoofing it up subway stairs or falling off of a bus exit with their offspring and accompanying plastic paraphernalia and you’ve said to yourself “My god I will submit to the soul-sucking suburbs before I let that laborious misery become my existence.”

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UPDATE- OCT 3RD- of course I’m going to pick-up Snap tomorrow…

Tagged: snapSnap's Momsnap in rehabrehabNYC + Kids = complicated

14th September 2009

3 notes

Post-meeting shopping with Snap’s Mom

After the big ACS meeting last week Snap’s Mom got permission from everyone (but me!) for the two of us to go shopping.  I held my breath the entire time but surprisingly, she didn’t ask me for anything.  She talked a lot about how she wasn’t going to ask me for anything anymore.  I reflected back pride and praised her independence.

Snap’s Mom shops exactly as you would expert her to.  Like a kid in a candy shop.  She had a $20 bill which she receives every Friday. ”Oooh, I want this, and this and look over here- it sparkles!”.  At one point she had three items of clothing which she could purchase within her budget.  She held up a Winnie the Poo jumper,  “What about this? Think I should get this? It’s more expensive but it’s Winnie the Poo!”.  I responded “You mean that one outfit instead of buying all three of the others?”.  She seemed to get it, until she passed through the jacket section and found a Polo jacket. A POLO JACKET PEOPLE.  Because “Polo is soooo nice.  Isn’t it really nice?”.  Does he need a jacket?  “No, he has five of them.”  We stood there quietly as she put the jacket down.

In my sweetest, non-judgmental voice I said “Do they give you guys budgeting classes in rehab”.  Yes. 

Then it was, “Can you stay with the baby while I go make a phone call from a pay phone?”  What am I going to say, no?  Oh please don’t leave me here with your baby and never return.  No, don’t do that. 

Tagged: Snap's MomSnapsnap in rehabCould you get me lists from Snaps MomACSrehab

4th July 2009

1 note

Rehab Visit #5 Part 1 (Yes, I spent the 4th of July in Rehab)

Snap looked great today.  His personality is really starting to pop.  Although he slept most of the time, his waking hours were full of coos and smiles.  It’s a miracle I didn’t run out with him.

But, as you know by now, visit’s with Snap end up being more about Snap’s Mom despite my best efforts.  Her every breath is spent trying to cajole some item from me.  Today’s list 1.) baby wipes (which I didn’t bring)  2. cereal  3. swim diapers  4. lunch.  5. soda  6. lunch for next time- specifically sushi.

When I arrived it was announced that there would be no BBQ.  I didn’t ask why.  As I sat down in the cold, dank, cafeteria, Snap’s mom proceeded to open up my tote bag and go through it.

“What’s this?” A book I brought for Snap (‘Don’t Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus’).

“What’s this?” A book for me to read on the subway (‘The End of Poverty’ by Jeff Sachs- which, mind you ended up missing at the end of my stay).

“What’s this?” My wallet.  You know, why don’t I put my bag over here…

“Where’s lunch?”  I didn’t bring lunch.  I was told you were having a BBQ.

Seeing as Snap’s Mom is not allowed to leave me alone with Snap (more about the women in rehab being responsible for their own babies rather than not trusting their guests), I’m stuck following her around the whole damn rehab center along with any other alleyway (literally) she decides to lead me down.

Today we ended up in the park of the Projects and then standing in front of a seedy grocery store where the girls are allowed to smoke (no smoking in front of rehab of course).  This is also where they keep up their womanly skills of hustling men.  Within 10 minutes, three scurvy-looking dudes came out of no where, made out with Snap’s mom and another rehab mom, gave them each $50- you know, as a “donation to the BBQ” that we didn’t have- and a case of grape soda.  A case.  Guess who they expected to carry the case of grape soda.

Tagged: snapsnap's momrehabsnap in rehab

17th May 2009

1 note

How can she take her baby to rehab, you ask?

There are a few innovative “Mommy & Me” rehab programs out there.  Snap and his mom are at a facility similar to this one http://susanbanthonycenter.org. I’m trying to not form an opinion seeing as I can’t be very objective about it…

If they really provide the services they promise there’s some hope, but unfortunately- places like this are usually under-staffed and supervision is minimal …

Tagged: snap in rehabsnapsnap's momrehab